Text: Ephesians 5:21-33, 6:1-4; Psalm 127:3-5; Proverbs 22:6
In establishing the family, God began by instituting Marriage. Marriage therefore is the foundation of the family. Today that foundation which provides stability for the traditional family is strategically and formidably being attacked from every direction. Fewer people are marrying today especially in western nations. For those who do get married, the divorce rate is also shooting up. The number of children being raised by single parents is on the increase. The roles within marriage and family are being reversed. Adultery is increasingly common. New ideologies to redefine marriage as instituted by God is spreading like wildfire. Our children are being bombarded with a lot of this negativity at school and through the internet. Today that solid structure of the family as ordained by God is struggling for survival.
Marriage and the family are the first and oldest institutions ordained by God, any ideology that contradicts God’s plan and purpose for marriage, is wrong no matter the proponents of such ideologies, be it governments, institutions or individuals.
After our relationship with God, the next most important relationship we have on earth is that with our spouses. The relationship with our spouses is the truest reflection of our Christian life.
Let’s consider God’s standard for marriage:
Ephe 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.”
Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”
Because these commands are from the Lord, our obedience to them affects the kind of relationship we have with Christ. Think of it this way: There is no such thing as a spiritually mature man who does not love his wife, nor a spiritually mature woman who does not submit to her husband. A husband cannot love Christ without loving his wife and a wife cannot submit to Christ without submitting to her husband.
A husband should love and cherish his wife not because she is perfect but because he loves Christ. Likewise, a wife submits to her husband not because he is a perfect lover but because she wants to submit to Christ.
A husband’s love and a wife’s submission are not tests of their obedience to their spouses, they are tests of their obedience to the Lord. Until a husband knows that his love, and the wife knows that her submission, is an act of obedience to Christ, they would always feel that their spouse must do something to deserve it from them. Until we love and submit as unto Christ, it will always be difficult to love and submit unconditionally.
Of course, there can be times when a husband does not feel like loving his wife and a wife does not want to submit to her husband. In those moments, husbands and wives can tell themselves, “I am called to do this out of my love for Christ. I want to submit to His commands because of what He has done for me.”
I would never try to convince a husband that his wife is worthy of his love or try to convince a wife that her husband is worthy of her submission. The fact is, no spouse is worthy. But Christ is worthy of a husband’s love and a wife’s submission. He deserves our obedience. It is important to understand this principle before we examine God’s instructions for husbands and wives because this gives us the necessary motivation to obey.
PRAYER POINTS FOR MARRIAGES AND FAMILIES
A prayer of thanksgiving for the family God has given you. Rejoice and be grateful for your family, many do not have what you have. Consider the list of things you appreciate in each of your family members, from your spouse to children and siblings, and thank God for them and for everyone in your family.
God, you know exactly what our family needs in order to thrive. You understand how hard it is to unit two uniquely different individuals as one, but You also know how rewarding it can be. As we figure out how to lead our family together, please protect our marriage, and help us create meaningful bonds with all our children. Guide us and protect us and draw us closer to You—and to each other. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
For Families with Adult Children:
God, give me wisdom in relating with my adult children. Teach me how to speak to them, and how to listen to them. Grant me your wisdom in dealing with their challenges and problems. Protect, establish, and help my adult children become to what and who you’ve called them to be. And as You do that, show me how to meet them where they are. I trust You, and I entrust my children to You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
For Families with Teenagers
God, show me how to love my teenagers the way You do. As they start to become more independent, give me discernment. And as they struggle with their emotions, help me to be sensitive to their feelings and wise with my responses. Shape them into the people You’ve created them to be and, as You do that, please guard their hearts. Let their identity remain rooted and grounded in You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
For Marriages in Crisis
God grant us understanding of your word as stated in Eph 5:22,25 to love and submit to our spouses as Christ loves the church in Jesus name